As we celebrate the achievements of the Chandrayaan 3 mission, it’s inevitable that financial influencers and online market experts will draw parallels between space exploration and investing strategies. Brace yourself for lessons that might sound like they’re from outer space, as these experts apply space missions to the stock market. Here are a few predictions on the investing lessons they might preach:

Embrace Failure: Just as Chandrayaan 2 adjusted its approach after learning from its mistakes, I’ve realized that being part of too many share market groups is overwhelming. I’ve downsized from five groups to four, reducing my exposure to misinformed news and operator-driven stock tips. Unfortunately, my confidence in investing has ballooned from 100 to 120 percent, leading me to invest in anything remotely related to the moon, including a defunct comic publisher.

Capture Moments: Similar to ISRO’s snapshot of Chandrayaan 2 capturing Vikram Lander, I’ve developed the habit of sharing my trading screenshots. However, I promptly delete them to avoid facing them during weekly expiry, hoping that my momentary successes will overshadow my failures.

Creative Analogies: The Pragyan rover resembles dividends from a value stock, just as the Vikram Lander’s success relied on the Chandrayaan 3 launcher. Inspired by these analogies, I’m launching a course on how to elevate your portfolio to lunar levels, also known as “From Chandivali to the Moon.”

Silence Critics: Much like the fierce defense of moon landing authenticity, I aggressively combat allegations of my profit screenshots being fake. While I lack Sensibull’s verification, I deem it logical to hurl insults at anyone doubting my unverified successes.

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Quoting Icons: As Neil Armstrong declared his small step for a man, I echo this sentiment with my Re 1 profit (minus STT) in futures & options—an incremental stride toward obliterating my Rs 1 lakh F&O losses.

Recognize Contributions: Just as ISRO’s leaders acknowledged their teams, I thank those responsible for my portfolio losses despite my self-proclaimed genius. My gratitude extends to the RBI Governor, Jerome Powell, Sam Bankman-Fried, overpriced tomatoes, and my wife, who’ve all made their mark on my financial journey.

Look Ahead: Before the applause subsided, the ISRO chief and our esteemed PM discussed plans for Sun, Venus, and Mars missions. In my case, I’ve lost my laurels due to margin shortfall. So, I’m looking to the future—my astrologer is now predicting when the sun will shine on my black hole-like P/L statement, thanks to insights from Mars and Venus.

As we navigate this blend of cosmic inspiration and market insights, remember that while some of these parallels may seem far-fetched, the quest for knowledge and improvement is a journey that transcends space and markets alike.